This e-zine is very funny and I loved the 1st Issue so much I thought I might try my hand at writing a tongue in cheek article and submit it. I was so thrilled when she included it, that I thought I would take the opportunity to post it here too. I hope you enjoy!! :)
Please check out both editions of The Post Apocalyptic Housewife's Domestic Companion by following the following link - http://wanderer.lostrealm.com/library/pahdc/
How to Host the Perfect Post-Apocalyptic Picnic
Got bunker boredom, your kids looking Vitamin D deficient, electronic communication completely unreliable? Why not organize the perfect post-apocalyptic picnic?!
Guest List
It is advisable to only invite humans. Others, particularly zombies, radiation mutants or robots, can be problematic- even if they used to be your friends.
Location and Weather
Beachside is usually a good option – zombies have limited cognitive abilities and cannot swim; they tend to flail and sink. The sea also provides a nice change from typical wasteland views.
Beware hotspots of grey goo- self replicating nanorobots seem to be rapidly on the rise in some marine locations. Also note localized garbage gyres are not due for a shore landing- no one likes unsightly rubbish.
Weather is unpredictable. Advise guests that in the instance of acid rain, dust-storms or high radiation- picnic will be cancelled.
Safety and Gear
All guests should carry weaponry: a gun of choice, ammunition, a back up pistol and hatchet should suffice and perhaps a trusty household item of some description (eg. a brick)
Request guests also bring Anti-Rad drugs (eg. Potassium Iodide, Prussian Blue) and their Bug -Out -Bags (BOB’s) in case of unforeseen circumstances such as a mass zombie assault or change in weather conditions
(Note: For aesthetics and peoples general demeanor, weapons should be kept discreetly out of view)
Menu Suggestions
Marinated human knuckles may be the flavor of the month, but please respect those in the group who are non-cannibals (a rapidly declining demographic but they do still exist)
HeaterMeals EX ©, portable and high in calories is obviously a winner. Thanks to Innotech’s Flameless Ration Heater technology, these meals also self heat.
Canned mussels or oysters may show you are woman of means but please keep an eye on expiry dates
Since it was discovered as edible, specially ‘radiosynthesised’ and melanised black fungi has become a very popular aperitif (eg. Cladosporium sphaerospermum).
For a beach side picnic bring your hand operated water desalinator, all other instances water purification tablets should suffice
Entertainment
Zombie piñata – be creative and make one or just use and old discarded zombie corpse
Zombie bowling- all you need is a few zombie heads and 20 or so plastic bottles
(Note: With all zombie games, the use of protective gear, such as goggles, mask and gloves is highly recommended)
If you follow these tips, and ensure you remain a ladylike hostess at all times (even in the event of a zombie attack) - everyone should have the perfect post-apocalyptic picnic experience!
Written by Briony & published in
"The Post-Apocalyptic Housewife's Domestic Companion"
thanks to Tiki
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